But, here we are with 13 grandchildren from the strong marriages of our 9 surviving children. Yes, he may have more energy then she does because he did nothing all day but insulted her and her lack of sex. Every month Senior Planets award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues. It literally saved my marriage and maybe my life. Ill say this, If you truely love your spouse and THEY need intimacy, find a way to make SOMETHING happen because you are killing them. When is the last time you did something romantic for her without expecting sex in return? 15 Signs Your Wife Doesn't Love You Anymore - Luvze To me, hes practicing classic avoidance and he simply closes up emotionally. Bring back date night (without the pressure to have sex), or simply spend more time talking to each other about your inner worlds: your feelings, your fears, your frustrations, your hopes and dreams. . Denied the enjoyment, should they be expected to put the same effort into the preparation? I feel like Ive been through hell. He is unhappy with the state of your relationship. When this happens I can not go back to sleep so my sleep is totally disrupted to the point of causing me to be unable to go about my day normally. There is nothing sexier than seeing your man crazy! Let them know how their refusal to engage with you sexually has affected you emotionally, physically, mentally and pyschologically. Or simplify it by bringing home her favorite wine and dining on your patio after the kids are in bed. Good luck to you all and hope the juices start flowing soon for those that feel deprived. 4. My wife of 43 years has no need for sex except very infrequently and then only quick missionary. Our experts helped them improve their sex life by advising a bit more spontaneity. I am familiar with all of this and I kept silent for a very long time. Wish she would just say so. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? So she still has a spark of sexiness ..but wants the womanizer. In the room. If I was younger, much younger I would have more options. I am a 58 year old woman. so that leaves to so totally frustrated angry resentful and I hate to say it but it is beginning to I think turn to I hate her. Which now seems gone forever. Quit excusing inexcusable behaviors by your partners. I would suggest you try these because they will increase your natural produce of testosterone without the side effects you mention. Before I married my second wife, Vicky told me she made a terrible mistake, still loves me and wanted back. Many of these comments are a breath of fresh air. Unfortunately a couple of years ago I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and under went surgery that shut me don sexually (I couldnt even masturbate any more) This has killed all hope we had to try and have a sexually normal marriage. I have a TON of frustration that has built up for years. I told him I heard him doing that and I told him if he ever did that again I would divorce him. Its not an option. Every time he gets mad he threatens to move out. Addie,maybe we should trade spouses.lol.im in the same boat you are.i love to get intamate and hug and kiss and cuddle.my wife 0.unreal.she told me the other day she dont even like sex anymore after we had it.how nice to say that.unreal. Harley and Mike, I have a loving wife but her sex drive is down to ziltch. . Women want to be swept off their feet. I was sleep-deprived for the first four months, getting about three and half hours of sleep a night. Im just not happy & want much more for in life. Talk about a double standard! I work part time at a day care and I find that when I havent gotten sleep the night before, my patience with the kids is really tested. Wednesday, August 30, 2017 Quick and fast is also good. I actually envy those that are single. I appreciate the fact that my wife has stayed with. I was going to say you lucky lucky bastard., Maybe let her pick the sex partner and she may want to be a side participant in it, could always ask : ), Its been13 years no sex for me.lbeen married42 years..her phone and internet are more important than me. If your wife feels less overburdened with household responsibilitiesand sees you making an active effort to take on your share of the loadyou might find she has more time, energy, and interest in sex. No amount of therapy, joint or individual, will fix this issue. In the meantime,, get naked and take care of your partners needs because as you can see on this strand, there are plenty of people out there who will! Initially, it probably was mostly about the sex. If his wife doesn't want to meet those needs, she should support him getting them met elsewhere or just set him free . So, basically youre saying, My needs outweigh your life. I dont care if you die, so long as I get 3 minutes of pleasure.. She has no interest in any positions other than missionary even though I love other positions. You can bring up your feelings about the importance of sex in your relationship so that she knows and can let you know what she has the capacity for. There's nothing wrong with the lower-libido partnerthey simply just don't want sex as often as the other person. A study published by the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women had more difficulty staying focused during intimacy and lower arousal levels when under stress. Is this the same advice you would give a man that is in a sexless marriage? Men you just need to treat her like you used to treat her before you married her every day and she will keep treating you like she did before you married her. That never goes away for most women or men. Maybe, she knows of your infidelity, but hasnt spoken about it? 1. Here is the rub though. Ive been led to believe Im the selfish one for thinking of leaving just over sex. Were communicating better but no changes to our sex life even though he has plenty of blue pills. Color me confused. He is impotent due to hydrocele and he plans to have surgery until hes 65. 69 years old and no sex together for over 20 years..I asked her if she ever gets horny anymore like when we were dating..she flatly stated no, and if thats a dealbreaker so be it. . See all of Joans advice in Sex@Our Age. Ive been reading a lot about this and not come across anyone with a solution apart from no proper sex or divorce. He will not talk about that either. I cant make the same wages I did before my illness, but added to my retirement money, it can get close. But the giving up on relationship and each other is what happens. My other half dosent get it and keeps going on and on about it. Be true to yourself, and your children. At that time my job became demanding. Look, not to give your hubby a pass here, but please, understand that most men in our country, we who were raised in the 50s. I guess. I finally asked him he said I was crab and mad all the time, I have a lot of pain and take a lot of meds sometime, and yes I am very unhappy with my life, but I try to hid it. so I started to do it. Without going into details - I am 100% certain that it was satisfying for both of us. Follow us at: This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. If you have gone through months or years of being patient with your wife and still arent feeling physically connected, it may be time for, Are You Ready to Start Dating Again Ask Yourself These 5 Questions, Research shows that women who had a positive view of themselves, reported higher levels of intimate encounters, 30 Foreplay Ideas That Will Surely Spice up Your Sex Life, This can be difficult since, statistically, couples are, to talk about sexual matters the same way they would other conflicts, such as children or finances. Two years and counting, its got me climbing the walls! Sigh I dont even want to see anyone else. Hes my best friend, the love of my life, an amazing Dad, my confidant and my everything. So no, this was not the place to blow your horn. I never signed up to be married and not getting sex. This is when a person is so sensitive to touch that they try to avoid being touched by another person because of the pain it causes them. What Im getting from these posts is that woman dont even want to try alternative ways to fulfill their husbands. The article itself is very weak and rehashed b.s., But the comments are priceless! I have always loved sex with my hubby, but after menopause, that all changed for the worse. He is either not attracted to you, depressed, or preoccupied. Pls look this up to see if this is you. !, so we better act tough, ya know! You cant really blame her, can you? Husbands (and I was one) are men who figured out too late that they are being played for fools. Rejection soon turns into resentment. Always happy to help. Haha Im not going to belittle my husband and make him feel less of a man when he is the one with impotence. Meanwhile, I encourage you to keep masturbating. Ive been humiliated, rejected and told you can have love without sex, because, after all, cripples cant have sex but they still have love. Absolute rubbish! Four in five couples dealt with a desire discrepancy1 in the past month, according to one 2015 study. I absolutely adore my wife/partner I love her dearly and would do anything for her. Just shows how woman dont know anything about other women. She wont talk about it and claims she desires no intimacy. The phone started beeping and making its different sounds at 630am. Estrogen levels drop while a woman is transitioning into menopause, which can cause vaginal dryness and cause sex to be painful or just downright uncomfortable. So, while some continue to coax and prod their spouses to get them in the mood, others resign to fate and either make peace with a sex-starved existence or look for gratification elsewhere. I wish I would catch my wife cheating or even semi cheating. Ive just seen this ,not sure when posted .ive tried so hard to get wife to have sex .she says menopause.then I gave up.but other we I had a beer and told her how I felt .silly beer a..so she been trying to start sex but my body has closed down to her .im worried ive turned off to her mentally.I do love her but shes noticed im not getting aroused like I used too .and now shes saying I prefer porn, but its how ive got by for so long.its really .mested up.im 53sorry. // Replace PAGE_IDENTIFIER with your page's unique identifier variable After 8.5 years in my sexless marriage, I almost found the phrase Youve both gone so long without sex together funny, though it is far from that. I was married for 24 years. If shes willing, find a therapist who will help you and your wife talk about this and really listen to each otherand if she wont go, go on your own. Yes Is so agree..No turning back!But Its now time replace her where she doesnt want to be part of.After 40 years 4kids 16 grands 5great Though I miss her warmth her ther body so much!Even after cancer twice majors surgerys reconstructions she still my one n only !N last one tooTime for me replace her affairs only way fishing..hunting ..camping ..some still with her!Rest myself alone ..others with son n grandsons while I still can getting around n driving! How about just being happy with love and affection? Men provide protection, stability, and resources. It will only create more distance between you. As I recall when we first started dating we were watching porn together. She will sit in bed on her phone though. My wife and I are in our late 50s and connect wonderfully in all ways. She always had 2 orgasms before me. I so desired to be held, touched, kissed deeply and often, all the things that love should be about, but it wasnt to be. Please explain to me. Your story is very very simular to mine. Are you a fit 55 year old woman with a high sex drive? If its just drynesswhich is common as women ageas well as using lubricant youll also want to be sure that your wife is aroused, even before any genital touching. So, Thomas maybe your right they must be doing it wrong. Ask if there is something you can do to make sex more enjoyable for her. Would you be willing to see a therapist with me to learn how to talk about this? She said that I can take care of myself in the shower and that is just fine with her. Not the husband its always the mom. Outwardly to friends he seems a good husband, and he is BUT he will not have sex as he dies not fancy me anymore! Genuinely compliment your wife and make her feel sexy again. My wife says shes convinced that my strong sex drive saved our marriage that got us through our in-laws, the deaths of 2 of our children, accidents, emergencies, seriou surgeries, any one of which could have destroyed us. Dont hold it against her. I do not wish this upon anyone!!! Sex is a HUGE part of a marriage, are you kidding me? I have many friends in this situation. We just share our acerage, her in the house and I have a place with my dettached out building. Ive been thinking about wanting a second child seven years after I gave birth to our first one. My wife and I now both sleep with settled stomachs (and I dont wake hungry in the night). In other cases, when the in-laws are constantly meddling the resentment may make it seem like you have an unloving wife but shes actually just frustrated at the lack of privacy, says Gopa. She wont do therapy and I dont want sex because someone forces her to. I have read here about mostly women who do not desire sex, but let me tell you, men not wanting or giving their female partners sex is an unmentionable crisis in our homes. When you choose not to accept/care/act on it year after year, our desire disappears. Having children may be one reason intimacy has decreased in your marriage, but it is not the only reason. I miss the simple things. Hmmm. When someone Denys you something so fundamentally important, it is Not Cheating to My wife is 54 and started menopause at 46. My functioning would be fine when engaging in sex with a woman for the first time, paid sex, and one night stands. My Wife Doesn't Want Me Sexually (My Wife Never Touches Me Anymore) Jos!! Truthfully, the solo routine is rather old. Therapy will help you identify the issues underlying the lack of sex, teach you how to communicate more effectively, give you strategies for regaining your intimacy if shes willing, and tools for coping if shes not, and offer you the boost you need to work on your relationship. I tried internet sex and while interesting it is not enough. Reality, we can go easy one yr without sex, he doesnt touch me,nada! Feeling this discrepancyor feeling like your partner is always asking for sex when you don't want itcan make the lower-libido person feel pressured into having sex. I appreciate the fact my wife has accepted our sexless marriage but I wish I knew what was causing these awful dysfunctions that make sex impossible, Oh my the first paragraph is me and my wife all over just had silver anniversary its been sexless since I was about 35 Im 52 now she no longer initiates intimacy wont kiss or cuddle hates being touched no toutching or anything of that disgusting behaviour treats sex as dirty and says Im old enough to know better gave similar resolution said find someone else but canot as Id be cheating I love her but this is not living promised change every year on Holliday well do it when we get away never happens maybee I am selfish for wanting intimacy with her but wont talk about it were just stuck in a rut its a cave and were going nowhere Im still fit keep trim and look young I have a young outlook whitch she hates but hey ho good luck all I feel less frustrated reading some of these comments xx, My husband who is 80 is 15 years older then me and has health problems so on a lot of meds our sex life finished 4 year ago going down hill gradually I get very upset as there seems to be no affection between us at all he seems quite happy living like this I love him dearly so would never leave him but its hard for me every day, Oh bullshit, a womans answer to wife problems is communicate how you feel to her. Its easy to see why such discord will eventually manifest itself in the bedroom. And cheating isnt an option either. Youre the only one here who gets the dynamic. That said, you should also think about how youre trying to arouse your wife. My Wife Doesn't Touch Me Anymore (My Wife Is Not Affectionate To Me If it wasnt for this site I would had forgotten that the word sex even existed! Important note: The only way to find out exactly why your wife is not interested in sex is to ask her yourself. I would be gone before dark! Cheating is easy and you deserve it . I am male. Its like he just doesnt think about it ever. Still in love with Vicky. married 57 years. However I worked as much at home since someone had to do it. Couples can even have a thriving sex life during their 40s, if they wish to do so. Hello Mary I can imagine how frustrating it it is for you.I am 65 years old and my wife is 64.My wife is on anti-depressants and she says that she has no desire for sex We have been married for 44 years now.I last had sex about 8 years ago My wife is a very beautiful woman and I am absolutely so frustrated and find that looking at porn and mastubating is not ideal anymore, What I need is a woman, but I am afraid to approach another woman for sex for the fear of rejection, I do not want to have sex with a prostitute. We never had sex before marriage and on our wedding night he rolled over and went to sleep. I have kept fit and kept busy. We had a normal sex life up till last year 3/4 times a week, but at Christmas, during the middle of the day, where our 2 daughters could have walked downstairs and seen him, I happened to come around the corner near his office to see him standing there watching porn and masturbating, after we just had sex that morning. Go be the cat lady then. I ask why she said it is just how it is. Were you on a low dose of estrogen by mouth. The only thing I have now is masturbation about 3 times a week. How about this? I cannot take any form of estrogen and I literally have lost all desire. All I could think of was him dying because I had to have sex.